Ocd and Religion

so this blog is for me to talk about things i cant speak of infront of people. im younger then 16 and have 7 illnesses and disabilities, the disabilities i can live with but the ocd and depression i cant, i pray for this to get better, once did but then messes up again, dont know why, i cant live with this no-more, as my alias shows, im young, the disabilities arent life threatening but stop me from doing normal activities.so my life so far was sweet and normal for me, i had a crush, friends, trouble, untill i stopped going school coz of something, ( cant give too much detail) and then a year and some time on i developed a mother fucking OCD!!!! obviously my family dont know about it, and ive spent last night(27th july 08) arguing with my God, saying why He doesnt take this away, i proved to him that im not a basterd for him to give me this many illnesses, and that i would pray the religous book and try be a good person. but to tell you the truth i think ive lost faith in my religon. i cant understand why a God who created the whole universe( this whole thing where man cant even explore because of its capacity) in 7 days but im told in the religous book He couldve created it in 7 minutes but didnt to show humans never to rush things, cant heal the people He created or offer them guidence in the time of need, we're told to do things right and to never do any thing we wouldnt like done to ourselves. and to pray and never lie, or steal and in doing so creating a space for us in heaven, and keeping us away from the eternal fire from hell. but how can we be asked to believe this when if we ever fall ill the very person who created us stays silent and doesnt help? basically im just trying to say that im slowly but definetly losing faith in my religion and God.

thats all for today i will keep you posted on the oncoming events but hopefully for me theres nothing to report, thank you for reading this, whoever you are and feel free to post.