Its Getting Worse!!!

so i wake up one day and then after i go to brush my teeth its time for me to do my Ocd and then whilst im doing it i realise its taking longer and that its not working like its supposed to, i did it and stood there for like 10 minutes shocked that its getting worse and that the way i used to do it doesnt work, then the next day it was the same, so now im worried that itll get worse and thren itll be uncontrollable. i just asked my god to make it easier for me and its not getting easy, but thats just the morning, the day is not as bad, i do it in a way that lets my brain know its not there and then i check with my fingers so it takes me less time, i also realise im getting more and more depressed by the day and that i dont care about dieing any more, i know i shouoldnt think that but i cant help but not care any more, i would never kill my self, incase your wondering, as thats wrong, illegal in my religion and i care to much for my family to do that. thats all for today, thank you for reading..... bye